Sometimes God sends you surprises in big packages! I was selected to attend and provide "expert" analysis on the upcoming ABC Nightline Faceoff, “Why Can’t A Successful Black Woman Find A Man.” The panelist included Hill Harper, Jimi Izrael, Sherri Sheppard and Jacque Reid and was moderated by ABC journalist Vicki Mabry and author/comedian/radio host Steve Harvey. By and large, what was discussed has been heard before. However, what makes it can’t miss television are the highly entertaining, energetic personalities and thought provoking format.
It also succeeded in lighting a fire inside of me to discuss the real problems behind why successful, Black woman are struggling to meet, court and marry. I’ll start with three primary reasons:
1) Lack of Access To Quality Men
2) The Appearance of Being Unapproachable
3) Poor Courting Skills & Poor Self-Confidence
I’ll briefly explain the first point. Despite what’s been largely written and promoted in the media, I don’t feel that the majority of Black women are doing anything wrong when it comes to dating. I simply feel that after college the social scene changed so dramatically that African-American men and women simply lost access to one another. In most cities, even major ones like Atlanta, single men and women have no common place to naturally meet to interact with the opposite sex outside of the bar, lounge or club setting. After all, how can you marry a man whom you never even gotten the opportunity to meet?
1) Lack of Access To Quality Men
2) The Appearance of Being Unapproachable
3) Poor Courting Skills & Poor Self-Confidence
I’ll briefly explain the first point. Despite what’s been largely written and promoted in the media, I don’t feel that the majority of Black women are doing anything wrong when it comes to dating. I simply feel that after college the social scene changed so dramatically that African-American men and women simply lost access to one another. In most cities, even major ones like Atlanta, single men and women have no common place to naturally meet to interact with the opposite sex outside of the bar, lounge or club setting. After all, how can you marry a man whom you never even gotten the opportunity to meet?
This is a solvable problem. There is no doubt in my mind that if every available Black person went back to college for a week that more than half would eventually get married. Hence, our biggest problem is lack of access to one another, not what each gender is doing wrong. So, I am calling for a national movement to bring back the late afternoon, early evening house party where friends invite platonic friends for the sole purpose of conversing, dating and eventually marrying one another. After all, a brother has to eat and a sister needs some boxes moved, right?. Who’s in?
No comments:
Post a Comment